Corner Cuddle
by Avenging Neko
Summary: Completely non canon crack cuddle fic. Enjoy! (Rated for language.)


_**Corner Cuddle**_

**_Ketti:_ **Not much to say here, really. Just your average, everyday crackfic.

* * *

Seras Victoria sniffled, biting her lip to smother her crying as she pressed her palms to her eyes, trying to force back the crimson tears gathering there. The little Draculina walked blindly into the depths of the lowest sub basement level as far as she could from her Master - they'd had ... a disagreement. She sniffled again, and couldn't stand to recall that disgusted look he'd sent her before she turned tail and ran. She bumped quite abruptly into something, and squeaked as she fell backwards. "What?" That wasn't the wall!

The object she'd collided with jumped about a foot in the air and cowered back, faded pink hair framing a wan face with sad looking blue eyes, and he whimpered, scuttling further back into the corner Seras had meant to occupy.

Shocked out of her sorrow for a moment, the blonde blinked up at the strangely dressed boy, nostrils twitching. "Who... are you? I've never seen you here before."

"I-I-..." he stuttered, gaze dancing about nervously, "I don't know how to deal with this..." he moaned, clasping his hands over his face and slumping into the wall pitifully. Seras' heart melted at the adorably pathetic sight and she scooted forward to drape an arm around him in a cuddle, "You just wanted a quiet place too, hm? Well, I don't know how you got here, but you know what they say? Misery loves company."

The boy stiffened in shock, and Seras had the sense that he... that he almost didn't know what a cuddle was, and her arms squeezed tighter until he gasped. "Sorry, sorry, don't know my own strength." The fledgling muttered, releasing the black clad figure and scooting back a bit to stare at her stocking clad knees. _Great, she was a screw up in this, too._

"Oh please don't cry! I don't know how to handle crying girls!" The nameless boy cried desperately, eyes wide. Seras sniffled, trying not to let the unnatural red tears fall. The boy made a distressed sound low in his throat before he repeated her gesture from before, throwing his arms around her and squeezing. "There, see? Don't cry, don't cry!"

Seras couldn't help but giggle, and the boy smiled as well, "My name's Seras, Seras Victoria. What's yours?"

"...Crona."

Seras leaned into the frail arms, resting some of her weight upon the other's slight frame, "Didn't I tell you misery loves company?" She asked, grinning weakly.

"Y-yeah." Crona agreed after a moment, and ducked his head to rest it against Seras' shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while, neither sure of the exact time, when they heard something; a shuffling of feet and low voices, possibly arguing.

"What am I even doing here?" A dark voice growled, and the two figures appeared at the doorway a moment later, leaving the twin occupants of the corner to stare in bewilderment at the sharp contrast between the newcomers; a tall man with faintly sallow skin, a hooked nose, and black hair that looked as though it needed a good brushing, combined with the black robes made him look rather intimidating. The man beside him – the one dragging him, to be precise – was shorter, far more effeminate, and wearing a pink kimono that clashed brilliantly with his red hair. Seras would have thought him a female if her nose weren't able to tell the difference. The cross shaped scar on his cheek made her pause, thinking she recognized it somewhere, but had not the chance to ask as the red head turned on his sullen companion with a too-bright smile, "Oh, but you know the answer to that!"

The taller figure growled, baring his dull human teeth as though he had fangs as he tore his sleeve from the pink menace's grip, "I told you I wished to be alone," he sneered, "you'll never understand, you addlebrained samurai."

Seras perked with interest, but kept quiet, blue eyes watching the exchange with badly hidden mirth. Said samurai gave a long suffering sigh, and turned to the occupants of the corner, "You see what I have to put up with? Ingrates, all of them." Without another word, he slumped down against the wall and scooted in until Seras felt like a sandwich, "Is there room in that cuddle for a repentant soul?" He asked hopefully, amethyst orbs sparkling.

Seras grinned and swung her free arm out, "the more the merrier!" Sparing a glance at the tall, dark, and gloomy, she winked, "same goes for you, Mr. SulkyPants."

"Muggles." He spat in answer, turning his back on them, but not leaving the room. Seras wondered if he even could, if _she_ could.

"So," Seras continued as if nothing had happened, hiding a shiver as she rubbed her cheek against the soft, warm, skin of the redhead, "my name's Seras, and this is Crona. We're the founders of the Misery Loves Company Cuddle Club. What's your name?"

The breathy chuckle nearly made her melt, and she clutched Crona tighter to her side despite his soft whimper, "You may call me Kenshin."

"Who's your friend?" Seras whispered, peeking under her lashes at the standoffish fellow.

"Oh, that's m-"

"You may call me Snape." The man hastily interrupted, and Seras wondered what he didn't want Kenshin to say.

"He's here because he got dumped by a flower." Kenshin whispered, and Seras' brows rose questioning.

"You mean a florist?"

"A lily." Kenshin nodded, and Seras bit her lip to smother her giggle, then bit it harder as she realized that being so close to the man was making her all too aware of how easy it would be to lean over /just a little/ and sink her fangs into his tantalizing skin…

A high pitched shriek rent the semi peaceful air of the room as a red and white blur fell from the sky and landed on the trio in the corner. Seras yelped as she was flattened to the ground, and her blue eyes widened with shock as she realized that, no, it wasn't the ground; it was far too _warm_. She froze, solid as stone, another chill rippled down her spine; her mouth had opened to voice her sound of protest, and the awkward angle had crushed her to Kenshin in such a way that… she swallowed, subconsciously dragging her tongue along the skin between her teeth. It would be so easy just to… She trembled, and felt the muscles in her jaw tense, nostrils flaring as she nearly drowned in the spicy sweet taste lingering on her tongue mixed with the scent of sweat and … an elbow dug into her spine harshly and she snarled, jerking backwards to shove against the weight pinning her to the warm blood sac-er…human

"Sunovabitch!" The weight bellowed, voice high and screechy like nails on a chalk board, and Seras hissed as it grated on her high strung nerves, and she squirmed around in a flash to punch him straight in the face, sending the white haired, red clad male flying into the far wall … which just so happened to be the same direction as Snape. Oops? The two men tangled together in a swearing mass of red, black, and silvery white until Snape growled something under his breath and the rude blur flew upward like a shot, landing on an unoccupied spot of floor. The stranger bellowed in rage, and beat his fists into the stone, cracking it as curse words spewed from his mouth in an endless storm.

Kenshin – no longer pinned down by the Draculina, whom Crona was using as a human shield – got to his feet slowly and made his way cautiously towards the swearing figure, and he knelt down to lay a hand on the silver head, "What ails you, my friend? Surely life cannot be that bad." He asked in a cheerful tone, making the other go still in shock before he bolted to his feet and Seras blinked, staring, amazed at the white triangles sticking out of his head. Were those… ears? They twitched, and she bit her lip to smother a squeal. So cute! The dog eared boy folded his arms over his chest and huffed, turning away, "Keh, stupid bitch 'sat' me too hard…"

Kenshin voiced their sound of confusion for them, and the stranger growled, bringing his clawed hand up to yank at the rosary beads around his neck, "Knew she'd take it too far some day. Keh!"

"Well, I'd like to formally welcome you to the Cuddle Club, my name is Kenshin, may I ask yours?"

"Cuddle Club, what kinda sissies are you? Keh! Name's Inuyasha." The red clad boy growled, and jumped up onto the top of the empty book case, somehow managing to not topple it over as he sought the supposed safety of height to get away from their lovey dovey sissyfest.

Seras was somehow unsurprised when two more men appeared in what appeared to be a shower of glitter. She blinked, and swallowed the urge to drool over the blonde man. _Mmm…_ Crona shifted uncomfortably behind her, squeezing her tighter, and she forced herself to stop gawking – and wondering what was up with this room? It was raining men! – long enough to listen to what they were saying.

"She left me!" The blonde man cried, nearly sobbing, "I offered her _everything_ and she left me, all for her little brat of a brother!"

"Family's very important." The other answered, a brunet with a lovely voice and familiar accent – like the blonde man, actually, and Snape… She almost hadn't noticed that the others sounded foreign until her ears caught the lilt in the aforementioned men's words – "I'd do anything to get mine back. C'mon Jareth, cheer up, give her a few years and try again!"

Jareth sighed mournfully, before nodding, "Perhaps you're right…"

Seras slid Crona around to the front of her, hiding behind the boy this time, as she called to Jareth and his friend, "Hullo, my name's Seras, and this is Crona. Are you new members of the Cuddle Club?"

The still unnamed man perked up, and positively beamed at them, "A club? I love clubs! Name's the Doctor."

Seras blinked, puzzled, "It's a corner cuddle club." She informed him, grinning.

Jareth looked amused, and Seras had to fight the urge to stare at him as she saw what he was wearing underneath his black cape, "Indeed? Well, this calls for an imitation, then, doesn't it?"

The Doctor threw out his arms with a laugh, "Just this once, everybody cuddle!"

Snape shot the pair a horrified look as he backed away, but was captured instantly by the beaming Doctor and dragged over towards Kenshin – who was not protesting in the least – and off into the cuddle. Inuyasha spat in disgust, glaring at the growing pile of bodies, until Jareth – who was surpassingly stealthy for one so… flamboyant – grabbed him by the ankle and yanked him down with a thud, dragging him across the floor towards the dog pile.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU FREAKS!" Inuyasha howled as he clawed at the ground, and Jareth rolled his eyes at the boy's dramatics - _really _now! - before rolling a crystal ball - where did that come from? - across the backs of his fingers and throwing it at the screaming teen's head to shut him up.

"This is so degrading…" Snape moaned as Inuyasha was thrown onto the tangle of bodies, Jareth joining them a moment later to keep the foul mouthed boy in place.

"At least you can breathe." Seras grunted from her position at the very bottom of the (partially) human pyramid. _It's a good thing I don't have to._ Seras griped internally, trying to shield Crona from being crushed. Really now! Five grown men were heavy!

"Let the first official meeting of the cuddle club commence." Seras quipped sarcastically, and grunted as an elbow worked its way into her abdomen.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Inuyasha snarled in her ear, and Seras' brows rose, wondering if he was asking her – but no, her nose twitched and her muscles tensed as she realized there was _another_ new presence at her back. She didn't like not knowing who it was, and craned her neck around awkwardly to take in the sight of a dark clad man (what was with them and black?) with bandages wrapped around his right hand wedged into the wall in the small gap left in their cuddle. He smiled faintly and pushed a lock of raven hair from his face, blue eyes solemn and wise, "I'm here for the imitation," he murmured, low voice sending shivers down the lone female's spine, "you may call me Haji."

"Tch, yeah, yeah, this is getting ridiculous. Leggo of me!"

"Must you be so loud?"

"Loud? I'LL SHOW YOU LOUD!"

Seras cringed and pondered how hard it would be to phase through the floor when the smell of radishes flooded the air. Her nose crinkled as she pushed against the heavy bodies, her vampiric strength aiding her in toppling the pile over so that her head poked out enough to observe… a croissant and a radish?

"Are we late?" The croissant asked, revealing himself as a strangely endearing hunchback wearing an ill fitting green shirt with mussed red hair.

.A noise

of disgust sounded behind them and Seras cringed back as the familiar shape of her Master stormed into the cuddle club's meeting room, a sneer on his face, "This ridiculousness has gone on long enough. Come here Police Girl."

She couldn't move, but at the same time, she didn't really want to. "N-no."

"N-no?" He mocked, and his lip curled, "I'm not giving you a choice."

The other members of the cuddle club began to grumble and gather together protectively, but he paid them no heed as he waded into their midst towards his wayward fledgling.

"You don't need to associate with this trash, Police Girl." He sneered as he grabbed the blonde by the scruff of her neck and shook her vigorously to dislodge the pitiful bunch of whiners clinging to his Childe. The pink haired creature whimpered, arms locked tight around the girl's waist, and the master vampire growled, shaking his fledgling harder until the weakling flew back into the 'cuddle' with the others. Seras' head bobbed drunkenly, and she groaned, feeling dizzy. "Master…"

The others, temporarily stunned, began to gain their feet, especially the redhead, when Alucard bared his teeth in a possessive snarl and vanished. "We'll speak of this later, Police Girl."

So much for the cuddle club… First meeting adjourned.


End file.
